Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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