yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize