I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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