You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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