I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
