Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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