Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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