I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
