Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize