carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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