he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
