It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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