Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
