Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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