Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
