I'm gonna have a badass scar
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
