Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My feet surprised me
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