I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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