it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
