but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
