Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
