party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I understand Curling. That high.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
