so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
