Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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