Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
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