I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
