they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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