considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
