there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
