I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Randomize
