That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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