At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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