put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
