last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I FOUND THE LEGS
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
