My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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