i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
