The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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