You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
