I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
