We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
