I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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