I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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