I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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