We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So vagazzling was a success
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
