so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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