I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
