Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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