I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I think i got beer on your cat.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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