Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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