Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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