how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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