btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize