i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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