At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Ladies don't puke and tell
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
