Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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