I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize