he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
