Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
