It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
