UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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