Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
