Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
