I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
