Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
