so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We're not piercing ourselves today.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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