Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
