no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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